Category Archives: writing

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A New Day Dawning

Sky slowly changing
ink black to indigo blue
pink blush glow behind skyscraper silhouette
warm breath ache for change

Red light blinks
blink blinks
a beacon guide

Here here
safety
hear

Hear the rumble
metallic hum builds to a CRESCENDO
metal rolling over metal
c-train slides by
dull tuning fork ring left in its wake

Steel grey sky
consort for steely resolve

Be Fierce!

Remain steadfast on path of change

c-train thunders its approval
red light blinks yes
yes yes
you can!

A new day begins

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Pep Talk

I want to say no
but I can’t
I am determined to resist this time
to walk away
go into the other room.

I give myself a pep talk and understand all the reasons
why I must say no.

Anything else I can do
but this – why is it so difficult?

Not this time!

I will be strong
I will be fierce
I know I can do this!

Yet when the chocolates
are placed before me
my will crumbles…

I eat the entire bowlful!

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Mistaken Identity?

You dropped by
to say hi
today
A whisper from my past

Time has a way
of shrouding memories
and yours
has become cloaked
in an opaque veil

I wanted to remember!

Your enthusiasm and
excitement of reuniting
was apparent
I responded with an equally
enthusiastic greeting, I thought,
but something betrayed me

Was it the eyes?
Hesitation?
Questioning intonation at the end of hello?

My mind stretched and strained
for something to trigger
a flood of memories

Asked point blank
if I remembered you
I had to humbly admit
no

the sharp knife of honesty

Although my memory is vague
and it is possible you may be mistaken
I am sorry
I disappointed you

by

Intrigue

Caricature!
the emblazoned sign
broadcast
to all who passed by

Capture your essence
with pen and acid free paper
for posterity
or at least a giggle
with family and friends

The dark haired artist
wearing a black beret
and black and white striped t-shirt
provoked
images of Paris
and buskers on the River Seine

With his moustache
perfectly coiffed
into matching curls
he sat on his stool
quietly reading

I tried to observe
unobtrusively
from a distance
and although his eyes
appeared to be focused
on the pages before him
I felt
he clearly saw me
and knew
I was there

by

The Eyes Have It

I was crossing over the pedestrian bridge
when I spied him on the other side
with two bags

Glancing down at my watch
trying not to break stride
I moved a little to the right
to allow room to pass
as we got closer together

His toothless grin
caught me off guard
and words uttered
pulled me to a stop
pace forgotten

I took in his thin face
long stringy hair
and twinkling blue eyes

Before I could say anything
he raised his hands
each holding a plastic bag
shaking them for emphasis

His missing teeth caused his words
to come out with a lisp
“If you see my family
tell them I’m on my way home”

For the briefest moment
I thought he could read my mind
wondering who is this
vagabond kid?

I returned his smile
assured him I would
pass along his message
and resumed my run
haunted by his happy eyes
I wondered
how could I keep my promise

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Worthy

What happened?
Did you decide that I
am not worth knowing anymore?
Thought processes
going through your mind
resulted
in the conclusion
“she is not worth it”?

what does it mean
to be worthy?
Worthful
Worthy
Worthwhile
Worthlessness

Someone worthy commands
respect
or is held
in high regard
considered desirable
the relationship valuable
worth saving

An incidence once
stopped me in my tracks
I was advised
“Demand respect
Make him listen”
How is that possible?

I have fallen
short of perfection
My pedestal broken
My tiara cracked

the truth is
I was never perfect
I’m sad that
inefficiencies and flaws
have driven you away.

Funny thing is
I do not want to go away
disappear from your life
I am not willing
to skulk to a corner
feel sorry for myself

I do not accept
your version
of who I am

Frankly,
I don’t really know
who you think I am
Would you be able
to answer that?

The road hasn’t been easy
I almost capitulated
to your angry image
almost surrendered
my precious soul

I know I cannot
demand respect
or love
or a relationship
I cannot
demand
anything at all

I stand before you
warts and all
waiting
patiently
for your eyes to open
because I feel
I am worth it

by

Inner City Street Kids

inner city street kids
who are you
inner city street kids
what do you do

where did you come from
where is your home
what do you do at night
where do you roam

who wrote you off
what happened to your dreams
was it one decision or two
to create a life as hard as yours seems

urban urchin
dweller of the slums
mischievous and raggedly
trusting no one

invisible to many
no place to live
falling through the cracks
like water through a sieve

there is a danger of getting lost
of descending deep into nowhere
second chances come
listen, they are there

life can be hard
but remember it’s precious and purposeful
fight your way back
in any way workable

show yourself
regardless of the obstacles
fight for what is worthy
to be more powerful

in a world made more beautiful
what would you desire most
what would ignite your passion
make you boast

inner city street kids
full of erratic emotion
inner city street kids
causing commotion

who are you
from where did you come
such beautiful souls
neglected, on the run

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My Reality

As I release my disillusionment
Morgan raises her sleepy head
and sits up on the warm, moss covered rock
where she lay
She cocks her head
and looks quizzically in my direction

My hands are raised in supplication
tears fall silently down my cheeks
I am abandoning what I thought was
and I am facing what is
It hurts

Morgan says nothing
watching in silence

My heart is breaking
as I release my idea of what a family should be
media driven ideas of mother, father, children and a dog
social ideas of a nuclear nest that is warm, nurturing
a source of comfort

My reality is a reality of divorce
not amicable
custody battles
fighting for my children
fighting for my sanity

I look at Morgan
she remains silent
but I see compassion in her eyes

The emptying of my hurt continues

My reality is a reality of new beginnings
re marriage
step parenting
Welcoming more children into my life
I cry as I am accepted by these young people
but continue to face rejection by my own

My reality is a reality of joy but also disappointment
it is with the disappointment
where disillusionment lies
hopes and dreams dashed

Reality is hard to face
I want to hang on to what I want to believe
not the reality that is in my face

To have a child facing jail time is a harsh reality
what happened? where did we go wrong?
the blame game explodes to the surface
and is difficult to quell

To have a child feeling so distressed
they try to take their own life –
that is a much harsher reality

Morgan gasps and comes to my side
her silence continues
but her presence is comforting

The desire to help, take away the pain
make it better for my child
is consuming
but ineffective
I am rebuffed, accepted, rebuffed again
I can no longer hold any illusion of my world
Reality is before me and cannot be ignored

Morgan embraces me and holds tight
I feel safe, secure, protected
and wish I could do the same
for my family

As I embrace Morgan
I embrace hope
hope for healing of tormented minds
and restoration of severed relationships
I hope for loving kindness to prevail
for peace and well being for myself and my children

I hope for a new reality