Monthly Archives: April 2014

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Mistaken Identity?

You dropped by
to say hi
today
A whisper from my past

Time has a way
of shrouding memories
and yours
has become cloaked
in an opaque veil

I wanted to remember!

Your enthusiasm and
excitement of reuniting
was apparent
I responded with an equally
enthusiastic greeting, I thought,
but something betrayed me

Was it the eyes?
Hesitation?
Questioning intonation at the end of hello?

My mind stretched and strained
for something to trigger
a flood of memories

Asked point blank
if I remembered you
I had to humbly admit
no

the sharp knife of honesty

Although my memory is vague
and it is possible you may be mistaken
I am sorry
I disappointed you

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Intrigue

Caricature!
the emblazoned sign
broadcast
to all who passed by

Capture your essence
with pen and acid free paper
for posterity
or at least a giggle
with family and friends

The dark haired artist
wearing a black beret
and black and white striped t-shirt
provoked
images of Paris
and buskers on the River Seine

With his moustache
perfectly coiffed
into matching curls
he sat on his stool
quietly reading

I tried to observe
unobtrusively
from a distance
and although his eyes
appeared to be focused
on the pages before him
I felt
he clearly saw me
and knew
I was there

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The Eyes Have It

I was crossing over the pedestrian bridge
when I spied him on the other side
with two bags

Glancing down at my watch
trying not to break stride
I moved a little to the right
to allow room to pass
as we got closer together

His toothless grin
caught me off guard
and words uttered
pulled me to a stop
pace forgotten

I took in his thin face
long stringy hair
and twinkling blue eyes

Before I could say anything
he raised his hands
each holding a plastic bag
shaking them for emphasis

His missing teeth caused his words
to come out with a lisp
“If you see my family
tell them I’m on my way home”

For the briefest moment
I thought he could read my mind
wondering who is this
vagabond kid?

I returned his smile
assured him I would
pass along his message
and resumed my run
haunted by his happy eyes
I wondered
how could I keep my promise

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Worthy

What happened?
Did you decide that I
am not worth knowing anymore?
Thought processes
going through your mind
resulted
in the conclusion
“she is not worth it”?

what does it mean
to be worthy?
Worthful
Worthy
Worthwhile
Worthlessness

Someone worthy commands
respect
or is held
in high regard
considered desirable
the relationship valuable
worth saving

An incidence once
stopped me in my tracks
I was advised
“Demand respect
Make him listen”
How is that possible?

I have fallen
short of perfection
My pedestal broken
My tiara cracked

the truth is
I was never perfect
I’m sad that
inefficiencies and flaws
have driven you away.

Funny thing is
I do not want to go away
disappear from your life
I am not willing
to skulk to a corner
feel sorry for myself

I do not accept
your version
of who I am

Frankly,
I don’t really know
who you think I am
Would you be able
to answer that?

The road hasn’t been easy
I almost capitulated
to your angry image
almost surrendered
my precious soul

I know I cannot
demand respect
or love
or a relationship
I cannot
demand
anything at all

I stand before you
warts and all
waiting
patiently
for your eyes to open
because I feel
I am worth it

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Inner City Street Kids

inner city street kids
who are you
inner city street kids
what do you do

where did you come from
where is your home
what do you do at night
where do you roam

who wrote you off
what happened to your dreams
was it one decision or two
to create a life as hard as yours seems

urban urchin
dweller of the slums
mischievous and raggedly
trusting no one

invisible to many
no place to live
falling through the cracks
like water through a sieve

there is a danger of getting lost
of descending deep into nowhere
second chances come
listen, they are there

life can be hard
but remember it’s precious and purposeful
fight your way back
in any way workable

show yourself
regardless of the obstacles
fight for what is worthy
to be more powerful

in a world made more beautiful
what would you desire most
what would ignite your passion
make you boast

inner city street kids
full of erratic emotion
inner city street kids
causing commotion

who are you
from where did you come
such beautiful souls
neglected, on the run

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My Reality

As I release my disillusionment
Morgan raises her sleepy head
and sits up on the warm, moss covered rock
where she lay
She cocks her head
and looks quizzically in my direction

My hands are raised in supplication
tears fall silently down my cheeks
I am abandoning what I thought was
and I am facing what is
It hurts

Morgan says nothing
watching in silence

My heart is breaking
as I release my idea of what a family should be
media driven ideas of mother, father, children and a dog
social ideas of a nuclear nest that is warm, nurturing
a source of comfort

My reality is a reality of divorce
not amicable
custody battles
fighting for my children
fighting for my sanity

I look at Morgan
she remains silent
but I see compassion in her eyes

The emptying of my hurt continues

My reality is a reality of new beginnings
re marriage
step parenting
Welcoming more children into my life
I cry as I am accepted by these young people
but continue to face rejection by my own

My reality is a reality of joy but also disappointment
it is with the disappointment
where disillusionment lies
hopes and dreams dashed

Reality is hard to face
I want to hang on to what I want to believe
not the reality that is in my face

To have a child facing jail time is a harsh reality
what happened? where did we go wrong?
the blame game explodes to the surface
and is difficult to quell

To have a child feeling so distressed
they try to take their own life –
that is a much harsher reality

Morgan gasps and comes to my side
her silence continues
but her presence is comforting

The desire to help, take away the pain
make it better for my child
is consuming
but ineffective
I am rebuffed, accepted, rebuffed again
I can no longer hold any illusion of my world
Reality is before me and cannot be ignored

Morgan embraces me and holds tight
I feel safe, secure, protected
and wish I could do the same
for my family

As I embrace Morgan
I embrace hope
hope for healing of tormented minds
and restoration of severed relationships
I hope for loving kindness to prevail
for peace and well being for myself and my children

I hope for a new reality

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A Night at Improv

When was the last time you played?
Really let go of your inhibitions
no inner censor
let loose and had fun?

Silliness? Perfectly okay
trusting those around you –
a required element

To see barriers tumble
to watch body movements
quick on the spot thinking
Worth it!

So many smiles
and laughter

Belly laughs
Tear induced laughs

Everyday burdens lightened
no thoughts of outside worries
no thoughts of what needs to be done or places to go

Just interacting with strangers
people who have come together for the same purpose
to take a chance
to be playful
to release their inner child

It worked!
And was so much fun!

Laughter is good for the soul 🙂

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Earth Day

Rainbow Delight(The water rushes out of the shower head and cascades over my sleepy body. I indulge in a few more minutes of closing my eyes before I have to snap to attention and fully wake up. The coffee pot gurgles with the push of a button as water mixes with the ground beans to produce the daily stimulant. I look out the window at the river flowing swiftly through the city, reminded of how fortunate we are to have such an abundance of a resource; so easily taken for granted. My car splashes through puddles laying on the roadway and I make a mental note that I have to wash it again – more water.
Today seems appropriate that water is on my mind. Earth day. A day to celebrate the bounty of our world, to be grateful for where we live and to reflect on those who suffer drought and shortage of food. Water is available to us at the flip of a lever or tap. Others have to walk miles to wait in line for a chance to fill containers to lug back home. And the water they receive may not be clean…)

Earth day
birthday
happy celebrate your worth day

Earth, fire, water and air
we are grateful for the resources
that always seem to be there

The earth at its finest
when rich dark loam
provides a place to grow food
both far away and at home

The air we breathe
allows our bodies to function
it is so taken for granted
people feel no compunction (polluting it)

Fire is the center
the molten core
it holds earth’s secrets
which scientists and oilmen search for

And then there is water
sweet and cool
quenching, satisfying
aqua blue

Water for bathing
cooking too
it’s at our fingertips
easily available to me and you

It’s trapped in glaciers
and snow covered mountain tops
tumbling down waterfalls
skipping over rocks

Our world is beautiful
and so we must be aware
that the bounty we have
may not always be there

We have to be good stewards
we have to share
we have to handle our precious planet
with greater love and care

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Easter Eggs

(This story was inspired by my friend, Linda, who shared a mythological story of her own recently. Thank you Linda. You are a great storyteller!)

Once upon a time, long ago, before airplanes and cars, before cell phones and i-pads, in a land far away and beyond, there lived a family of females in a beautiful valley. There was Snowy Owl, the grandmother, Painting Hands, the mother, and three daughters – Shooting Star, Moonbeam and Little Feather.

One day Snowy Owl became very sick and no longer smiled much. Painting Hands called the girls together and made a request. “Dear daughters, your grandmother is unwell and I wish there was a way we could make her smile again. I am sending you out to find items that will make Snowy Owl feel happy once more.”

The girls left the beautiful valley to find items to accomplish this task. Shooting Star found a pretty blue robin’s egg, delicate and fragile. Moonbeam found seeds of the cacao plant. She knew how much her grandmother loved chocolate and this would surely make her smile. Little Feather saw a field of brightly colored wild flowers. She chose the most brilliant as her gift.

Once the girls had their items they looked for some way to protect them as they carried them back to the valley. They hollowed out a tree branch they found laying on the ground and carefully placed the egg, the seeds and flowers inside. When they returned home each girl wanted to be the first to show Snowy Owl and Painting Hands what they had chosen. As they scrambled to be first the branch went flying into the air, spinning end over end until finally landing – splat! – in front of Snowy Owl. Shooting Star, Moonbeam and Little Feather felt awful. Snowy Owl began to laugh.
She sat up and waved her hand over the fallen branch. She told the girls not to worry. She felt their kind thoughts and generous action is what really mattered.

Snowy Owl picked up the branch. Gently moved it side to side, then opened it up and out spilled brightly colored chocolate eggs where once were the robin’s egg, cacao and wild flowers! And that is how Easter eggs came to be.