Wind Dance

winter wind

A chilly, desolate wind whistles into a wintertime city.

Snow covered rooftops and bare, unadorned skyscrapers shiver.

Loose shutters knock and rattle on rusty hinges.

Goose bumps rise on flesh touched by raw air.

Dark wool collars are raised high.

Bright, puffy down filled jackets tighten.

Crumpled paper swirls; a colorful tempest of red wrappers, yellow cellophane

and discarded coffee cups whirl, twist, funnel up and down

until a sudden stop

when encountering a dead end alley.

Pedestrians bury themselves deep into winter furs.

Plaid scarves,

Plain scarves,

Scarves of exotic hues and intricate design

protect frosty cheeks.

Stiff boots enclose cold feet tapping anxiously toward indoor warmth.

Little eddies of snow drift across sidewalks,

approaching people sitting around a fire.

Pink, orange, blue and yellow flames light a darkened sky.

Puffs of air rise from mouths and noses.

Puffs of steam rise from hot cocoa mugs cradled by mittens.

Wind dances and sways in delighted bursts.

Puffs of ash spark.

The fire hesitates, then roars as the wind snakes around

trying to get closer to the people.

Wind wants to sing a joyful song, participate with the group.

Blankets and mugs are quickly gathered.

Snow tossed onto the flames.

Burning logs sizzle angrily, sputter and become charcoal.

Hasty kisses peck rosy cheeks.

Discordant good-byes are called out through blowing snow,

and

All are gone.

Wind remains.

Lonesome.

Misunderstood.

Disbelief

Today’s post was inspired by the current media discussion of violence against women following allegations against former CBC broadcaster Jian Ghomeshi. A question I saw earlier today asked, “How many women must speak out to equal the voice of one man?”

The room is dark
suffocating dark
Panic inducing lack of light despite sunny skies
autumn colors outdoors

It is a race to that safe place
before the spark is completely snuffed
before the dark becomes
consuming
overwhelming
overtaking all

A tiny haven awaits
sanctuary of sacred flame
buried deep within
pathway hidden

Alarm signals shrieking!
All senses on high alert!
Survival systems kick into high gear
“Do not let the flame be doused. Hold on to the light
at all costs”

Watching events unfold
as from a distance
Denial
Detachment
Betrayal

Trust is broken
cleaved into pieces by a
swift action
Shattered
Shards vibrating
Questioning
Why is this happening?
How can this be happening?

Violence
Heaving

Quiet

It has stopped

Darkness is all around

Blinded by emotion
quivering
fatigue
shame

It has stopped

But the journey
to recapture the flame
has just begun
It is buried deep
protected

A silent tear escapes

Lost

I have already lost them
it happened a long time ago
one day a decision was made
there was no turning back
Reality is harsh
denial a trap
the sooner I find acceptance
healing can begin

Little boy optimism
little girl hugs
drifting away ephemerally
like the puff of a dandelion
blowing in the wind

Dreams die hard
I do not want to let go
this is not how it is supposed to be

I want a fairy tale
a castle in the sky
I want promises of happily ever after

When did it happen
my world falling in upon itself
when did the yellow brick road
become a bed of hot coals

Every phone ringing
brings a fear of the worst
every siren
a racing heart

A pasted on smile
a mask for the world to see
so difficult to accept
you are lost to me

When did I lose myself
how can I get her back

If I don’t have hope
what is left

Speechless

seconds
less than a minute
time it takes to cross threshold
from one room to another
life changes

voice stolen
gone
unexpected words
spoken in anger
have power to stop any motion
power to steal any utterance
vocalization
a thing of the past
articulation arrested
stunted
swallowed in disbelief

frantic heartbeat
racing thoughts
no sound escapes lips
seared together
saliva fled along with speech

flaming cheeks
follow flash of insight
no rebuttal will be justly heard
knowledge of necessary decision
crystal clear
in order to save
authentic self

Despondent

Air is charged
electric
stifling
Try to breathe but can only gasp
cannot inhale deep enough
cannot draw air in

Want to lay down
want to run, escape
want to read
to forget
dive into someone else’s story
so do not have to face own

Tears surface but refuse to fall
accompanying lump in throat
swells
contributing to difficulty breathing

Count…
one – two – three
one – two – three
one – two – three

a polka that needs to be taken down to a waltz

over and over again
count repeated until moment passes
and calmness returns

Energy is drained
but have survived
did not drop into bottomless pit
Great sadness closes in
yet life can go on

A little piece
the tiniest sliver
of self
has been restored
and can go on

But the monster comes back
furious
angry to have been kept at bay
Thrashing
consuming

All that can be done
is ride the wave of tears

tumble
roll

one – two – three
one – two – three
one – two – three…

Feel the pain
acknowledge guilt

Breathe

Look for the shining little sliver of self
hold on tight
despite bleeding hands
and shattered heart
hold on
hold on
to go on

Addiction

A disease of vampire’s
has struck the nation
skulking shadows of the night
lurking, waiting to pounce on our children
our loved ones, our family
a delectable first bite

It messes with our minds

Death comes slowly
a rot of the heart
drip by drip
blood red
oozing demise
craziness
It can’t get enough
turn our backs
it is there again

Sorrow and loss
annihilation without dying
grieving a body without a soul
Past mistakes loom large
not wanting to miss out
awaiting an opportunity to join
the zombie fest

Hopeless