Wallowing

Woke up this morning
took a moment to see
through blurry eyes
exactly what
was looking back at me

Garbage can lids
cardboard under my head
a dumpster spilling over
can’t remember what I did
what I said

Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I thought things would be different
this time
Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I really thought life would be different
this time

Went to a center
finally took someone’s advice
lost my wallet, my cigarettes, my hoodie
came away with lice

Story of my life
always seems to be
no matter what it is I do
bad luck follows me

Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I thought things would be different
this time
Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I really thought life would be different
this time

One hundred push ups
fifty sit ups with a kick
didn’t make a difference
left me feeling kinda sick

Don’t know why the fuss
wish people would let things be
let me face my own future
wallow in misery

Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I thought things would be different
this time
Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I really thought life would be different
this time

We Sing

How easily we fall
into thinking we are different
special
We are wonderfully individual!

But when different
equals alone
we are wrong

Alone we lose our strength
alone we fall prey to
our own false thoughts and misunderstanding
Alone we become victims of inner fears
Deep seated desires and urges
plague our thoughts
cloud our eyes
run through our veins

We are unique
We are not different
We each share a story that winds
its thread through all willing to listen
Each beating heart
recognizes the call of another
The beat stretches from the beginning
of time
and touches us all

It’s a beautiful song
we are meant to share
and sing joyously together

Despondent

Air is charged
electric
stifling
Try to breathe but can only gasp
cannot inhale deep enough
cannot draw air in

Want to lay down
want to run, escape
want to read
to forget
dive into someone else’s story
so do not have to face own

Tears surface but refuse to fall
accompanying lump in throat
swells
contributing to difficulty breathing

Count…
one – two – three
one – two – three
one – two – three

a polka that needs to be taken down to a waltz

over and over again
count repeated until moment passes
and calmness returns

Energy is drained
but have survived
did not drop into bottomless pit
Great sadness closes in
yet life can go on

A little piece
the tiniest sliver
of self
has been restored
and can go on

But the monster comes back
furious
angry to have been kept at bay
Thrashing
consuming

All that can be done
is ride the wave of tears

tumble
roll

one – two – three
one – two – three
one – two – three…

Feel the pain
acknowledge guilt

Breathe

Look for the shining little sliver of self
hold on tight
despite bleeding hands
and shattered heart
hold on
hold on
to go on

Love Story

Lives twinning together
like ivy on a wall
unseen magical connection

Fresh young shoots
stretch for the sun
cling to wooden arbor
feel warmth radiate off wall
stretch, stretching
destination unknown
trusting upward direction

Mature growth stands firm
remains grounded
provides support
roots deep, expansive
familiar earthiness is woven into genes
of delicate leaves
courses through slender vines
ready to allow creepers
a hand in exploring new space

Young and old
grow together
a grafted union
one with the other
indistinguishable
dark and light
seasoned and green
cultivated and immature
flowering equally

A beautiful love story

A Gnome

gnome
(image credit: inplacesdeep.blogspot.com)

We came upon a gnome
blowing up balloons
seated at the corner of a house
Discovery of his presence delighted us
piqued our curiosity
We approached slowly

He appeared to be equally curious about us
remaining seated on a wool blanket
black boots tucked under his body
straw hat at an impossible angle on his head
round lenses of his wire glasses magnifying his dark eyes

The gnome spoke rapidly
in rhyme
he told a silly story
that blended with questions
he didn’t bother to hear answered
We laughed
amused by his silly demeanor

While all this took place
a young elf
paced side to side to the left of our seated friend
The older gnome ignored the movement
remained focused on us
Between giggles we tried to speak
but he had a tale to spin

He handed a balloon sceptre
pronouncing a new queen
investing with authority a new royal
custodian of the inflated rod
And was gone

We blinked with mirth
not quite understanding
what had just taken place
a bit of magic added to our day