Mother’s Day Gratitude

Light-in-Heart

(internet photo)

My heart swells with gratitude for:
French toast in the morning and burgers at night
sunshine on a golf course
long distance phone calls
text messages
blonde hair, blue eyes and a big smile
yellow orchids
cupcakes with sticky icing
Dutch accents
watching Game of Thrones
laughing about Game of Thrones
hugs
gently falling rain

Falling Tears

Tears are falling all around me,
diamond sorrow beads
silently spilling over flushed red cheeks.

A room full of emotion
becomes a sauna as numb people gather.
Perspiration dots foreheads,
dark circles stain arm pits.

Words of comfort are spoken
while words of sorrow are swallowed
along with stagnant, suffocating air.

A youth walking
in the shadow of addiction
stepped across onto the wrong side
of the line.
In an instant his soul sped away.
Life evaporated.

Anger rises above grief.
Anger at the monster
that has come into our homes.
Anger at the beast
that has enslaved our loved ones.
Anger at the powerlessness
we have in the face of this horror.

Hot tears stream.
Heaving tears overflow.
Shocked tears splatter.

Tears are falling all around me
diamond sorrow beads
silently spilling over flushed red cheeks.

Shattered

Wine glass shatters
stem and goblet severed
illusions of relationship
exposed

Sharp jagged edges revealed
captivating expensive bouquet covered
robust promises
forgotten
hidden
left to languish
unable to balance with delicate notes
of expectation

Scatted shards lay on the table
lay on the floor
as once you laid with me
fragments of our hopes and dreams
loosened from a grasp
now splintered pieces

What once was
no longer is

A stark realization

How appropriate the glass was empty
no red stain on the precious carpet
blank white
pure contrast to tainted desires
no tears
no drops
to mourn the loss

Resignation
a simple break
to open eyes
how fragile words have become
how brittle emotions

Hidden cracks
now fully visible

Waiting

“You make a life out of what you have, not what you’re missing.” – Kate Morton

disappointment

again

lump in throat
waiting for a call that doesn’t come

mind racing
to account for reason why
thoughts toss and tumble
adrift on rough waters
of stormy emotions

tears surface but do not fall
a blind barrier
camouflaged by past hunts
to make sense of behaviour
has arisen

resignation
sadness
suffuse the room
blocking sunlight
covering all with a blanket of grey melancholy

although much has changed
much remains the same

Broken Glass

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Mirror breaks inexplicably
invisible stone
hurled
by a petulant force
seeking attention

Shattered

Shards litter floor
prismatic glass mosaic
hundreds of pieces
return disjointed image
echo chaos
flash alarm

Art deco
Nouveau art
Art less

Strewn about
fragments catch light
direct variegated colors around room
or blind with angry
blast of sun’s rays
blink tears to protect eyes

Some bits are flipped
reflective side down
unable to face their new reality

Photo frame characters
watch from across room
frightened by crash
they seem to leap
to escape their restricted confinement

Clean up is like walking through a minefield
where great care must be taken
not to detonate
a slumbering weapon of destruction

Remnants of mirror
not forgotten mines
lay visible
but every now and then
unseen splinters
pierce and draw blood
an exacting toll
to assuage guilt
for breakage of
the valuable mirror

 

Limited Anger

anger

photo from cnnectability.ca

 
Ears ring

Hiss and Snap
not a kettle or pot boiling

Something inside

I just want to be mad for awhile
I want to rage
to holler and yell
I want the world to suffer perceived injustice
with me
I don’t want to look for the positive
or see any silver lining

The limit has been reached
Any limit
My limit

I want to let emotions flow
tears to fall
I want to steam and boil
a sulphuric geyser field
exploding
soaring
shooting energy
into the sky
a powerful force
dangerous
yet beautiful to behold
bursting confines

then

Gone
As quickly as the eruption
spent

I want that moment

Let me shed
destructive thoughts
feel angry
voice my pain

Then subside
spent

Peace restored