Air is charged
electric
stifling
Try to breathe but can only gasp
cannot inhale deep enough
cannot draw air in
Want to lay down
want to run, escape
want to read
to forget
dive into someone else’s story
so do not have to face own
Tears surface but refuse to fall
accompanying lump in throat
swells
contributing to difficulty breathing
Count…
one – two – three
one – two – three
one – two – three
a polka that needs to be taken down to a waltz
over and over again
count repeated until moment passes
and calmness returns
Energy is drained
but have survived
did not drop into bottomless pit
Great sadness closes in
yet life can go on
A little piece
the tiniest sliver
of self
has been restored
and can go on
But the monster comes back
furious
angry to have been kept at bay
Thrashing
consuming
All that can be done
is ride the wave of tears
tumble
roll
one – two – three
one – two – three
one – two – three…
Feel the pain
acknowledge guilt
Breathe
Look for the shining little sliver of self
hold on tight
despite bleeding hands
and shattered heart
hold on
hold on
to go on
ScribbleDartsfromtheHeart 