Wallowing

Woke up this morning
took a moment to see
through blurry eyes
exactly what
was looking back at me

Garbage can lids
cardboard under my head
a dumpster spilling over
can’t remember what I did
what I said

Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I thought things would be different
this time
Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I really thought life would be different
this time

Went to a center
finally took someone’s advice
lost my wallet, my cigarettes, my hoodie
came away with lice

Story of my life
always seems to be
no matter what it is I do
bad luck follows me

Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I thought things would be different
this time
Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I really thought life would be different
this time

One hundred push ups
fifty sit ups with a kick
didn’t make a difference
left me feeling kinda sick

Don’t know why the fuss
wish people would let things be
let me face my own future
wallow in misery

Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I thought things would be different
this time
Do you have a light
can you spare a dime
I really thought life would be different
this time

Searching for Joy

Question-Mark

Can you help me?
I have lost something valuable
precious to me
I’m looking for something
that makes me laugh
feel happy
but more than that

something to add
a lightness to my day
a skip to my step
I am looking for something
to put a smile on my lips
and a grin on my heart

I am looking for something
that will let me see the world
through eyes of wonder
to offer gratitude for the grace
and beauty that surround me
to see beyond hurt pain
misery that can surface in life

I am looking to mend a chink in my armor
to add laughter to my arsenal
a key ingredient
an effervescent effusive
bubbling expression of deep joy
that cannot remain contained
sending contagious vibrations
outward
instantly recognizable by others

I have lost something valuable
precious to me
Can you help?