The train rumbles to a stop at the platform
and we board
oblivious to the announcements being broadcast over the PA

We are excited to be on our way to see our beloved team
caught up in a discussion about the impending competition

As we ride to our destination
I look at the passing buildings surprised at what I’m seeing
an entirely different view of my city
versus what I am exposed to when driving in my car

We are joined by other fans and revelers
the atmosphere charged with laughter and robust chatter

Disembarking we are caught up
in a surge of people
that swells with each passing of a staircase or entryway

I hang on tightly to my husband’s hand
then allow myself to be carried
along with the flow of the crowd

Snippets of conversation catch my ear
a laugh
a whistle
a hoot and a holler

We are going to the game
and right now that’s all that matters

fun for everyone

The full moon beams
brilliantly
over the sleepy city and quiet prairies.
Mountains on the horizon loom
tall and proud
reflecting heavenly light off snow capped peaks.

I imagine a change of guard of
celestial gatekeepers
taking place with this shrouding event.
Ancient Mayans envisioned a
giant jaguar
swallowed the moon making it disappear.
Local terrestrial citizens may
watch with awe
while others sleep
incognizant
to what is occurring in the sky above them.

As the spinning orbs
align themselves
and earth’s shadow conceals a large red moon
reorientation
is a possibility in our inner selves, too.

The moon
influencer
of emotions
and personality
may cause a shift within
whether we believe it
or not.

My alarm beeps and I roll out of bed
spying a crimson glow on the eastern horizon
outside my window

The city skyline in silhouette against the navy sky
begins to glimmer as lights flutter on in preparation
for the work day

Outside, below our residence, shadows are shifting.
What lurks in the gloomy shade cast by the quiet buildings?

My thoughts accelerate to a gallop letting fear have the reins.
I blink back tears and calm my racing heart as I repeat: I
am safe. I am secure. I am completely protected at all times.

I continue to get ready for my day knowing I am not alone. I do
not have to fear the shadows. I can anticipate a carefree day
full of the promise I saw in the blushing sunrise.

Who knew cardboard could fight back so hard! Today my husband and I are assembling a desk and cabinet from Scandinavia. My job is to flatten the container boxes in preparation for recycling but they are resisting fiercely causing some paper cuts and a few choice words. The pieces were constructed in Indonesia and they arrive with French and English instructions. Actually, the assembly directions are diagrams that truly test one’s spatial awareness.

The protective Styrofoam skitters across the floor challenging me to find it. Days later, in the most unlikely spaces, the vacuum cleaner will coax the static filled little white nuisances out of hiding.

Slowly, methodically my husband places the pieces together as instructed. Each time I take a break from the stubborn cardboard I am excited to see the furniture taking shape.

A spring snowstorm passes by, the cold wet snow flakes in too much of a hurry to notice what is happening in our cozy study. The sky brightens and sun shines chasing the remnants of the flurries away.

We continue patiently placing dowels and screwing screws until finally sweet victory. With assembly completed and no leftover pieces it looks great!

My phone rang but I didn’t answer it

we were celebrating

Was it you – hurting?

I didn’t want to be rude

despite the persistent ringing I stayed still

made no move to pick up the jangling device

I wasn’t expecting a call

I wasn’t expecting the interruption

I wasn’t expecting the silence, the hurt, the pain

On Tuesday my youngest son celebrated his 25th birthday. The family started celebrating this milestone on Sunday but Troy and his buddies got a head start on Saturday night. Clearly a quarter century is wonderful reason to party!

This is my son, I want to shout out loud
My third born, my baby, you makes me so proud

You’re a fighter, you showed it right from the start
While just bean size within me you touched my heart

Athletic, intelligent, funny and kind with a witty type of flair
When I’m in your presence I don’t have another care

I’m happy and pleased as any mother would be
that I was given you as a son to oversee

As I watch your life unfold I am filled with so much love for you
I wish you continued life’s blessings in all you do

Happy 25th Birthday! Here’s to many more!
Happy Birthday dear Troy, may you have all you wish for!

Let go; Let Go!

Today all I can see and hear are signs to let go

Songs plead

Magazines state

Newspapers admonish

and I want to yell back at all of them, “How the *@#* am I to let go if I don’t know what it is

I am holding on to!”

I’m holding on to a dream, a fairy tale

holding on by a thread

to what could have been

what should have been

not wanting to face what is

Children are a beautiful gift and because we bear them

and rear them, over time we become possessive and think they are ours

When choices are made that are unexpected

that we don’t like

that burn just thinking about them

It’s easier to hold on to the dream rather than let go

Let go and let them fall

Let go and let them fail

Let go and allow growth and healing…

Let go and soar

The line of SUVs, trucks and cars snake around the building in front of me
Although the calendar declared spring several weeks ago with today’s car wash it has officially arrived

The ritual begins
dirty, salt encrusted vehicles slowly creep toward wash bays
I imagine my car as human trembling with excitement like a three year old child

With the clink of a toonie in the slot
the wand vibrates in my hand and I feel power of the water surge, straining to be released

Dirt and grime weave a soapy path to the drain
Strangely I am reminded of my dog taking a refreshing dip in the river on a hot day and I giggle as I envision my little Audi shaking off the excess car wash water

With left hand I apply wax, right hand buffs the exterior to a high gloss sheen
The detritus of winter has been removed
Atonement achieved for the travails of winter
The ritual complete

My car proudly glistens and gleams
reflecting sunshine; momentarily blinding
A beauty to be admired
until I drive through the first puddle

Today is Oma’s 80th birthday
I see clear blue eyes; gentle and understanding
Lined face – mapping memories
She carries wisdom expressed and untold

Laughter transforms her and provides a glimpse of her past,
sparkling eyes and a bit of mischievousness

She crossed the Atlantic 60 years ago leaving behind tulips,
windmills, a bustling urban center in Rotterdam, her loving parents
and her younger sister.

They had a thriving general store and sold milk delivered by horse-drawn
carriage on the cobblestone streets.
Piano, accordion, merriment at family gatherings; she was willing to leave that behind and travel to an unknown foreign land
a place of mystery
follow her young love
The power of youth!

Dirt floors and a hard life awaited her
She grew to love this land that opened her eyes to adulthood
She didn’t turn tail and return home but chose to raise her family here
and etch a new life

Each success, each set back, each step forward
reflected in the wrinkles that line
her beautiful face and hands.

What stories does she carry? The hard earned lessons that only experience can teach; the lessons of the heart – disappointments masked,
happy moments cherished, proud moments multiplied.

Her Dutch accent commands attention when she speaks
it is both familiar and foreign at the same time.
She is matriarch of a growing family:
children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren

As life begins to assess its ransom through loss of physical mobility
Her mind remains sharp, continuing to enjoy new discoveries and revelations through the youngest branches of her heritage.
Surrounded by children she beams with happiness

And nothing feels as good, as warm, as comforting,
as being wrapped in a hug
surrounded by Oma’s strong arms