It’s not about you

Today is a celebratory day
A day of taking steps
baby steps
toward a goal I have hung onto longer than I care to think about

I know what you are going to say
You do it all the time
It’s a pattern we have shared since the beginning

I get excited and filled with enthusiasm
You pull in the reins
And it has become such an ingrained habit between us
that sometimes I don’t even realize that is what is happening

Remember when I came home with a new hair cut?
As I was admiring the style and shine in the mirror
You popped in to give your opinion: “It looks pretty good but maybe you went a little too short. It kind of makes you look like you have pudgy cheeks.”

When I decided to try a new clothing style that was comfortable and free flowing, made me feel relaxed and easy going; you took one look and didn’t even hesitate to speak your mind. “It might be a good look for a hippie or yogi but that’s not you. Who are you trying to fool?”

Last time I took a risk
You didn’t even hide behind a veiled compliment.
You laughed out loud and gave me the raised eyebrow look
“Really?”

Today is going to be different
I’m on to you and your well meaning but sabotaging ways.
Already I hear you protesting loudly
“But what about this? Or did you think about that?”

I hear you and acknowledge you
But I am stronger, braver, willing to be vulnerable
I am willing to take my chances that I can handle both this and that!

Today your attempts to derail me
are only attempts
Today is not about you
It’s about me
I’m taking the step
I’m smiling as I do it; flushed cheeks, racing heart, queasy stomach and all.

Today is a celebratory day
It’s not about you
It’s about me!

6 thoughts on “It’s not about you

  1. Alice says:

    Very Inspiring Sister…to anyone who may have ever lacked confidence or been surrounded by a negative upbringing or environment, your words are like a spear to inspire positiveness and healing for a step in a good direction. Recognizing and sharing Patterns that CAN BE CHANGED, supporting and acknowledging “what is”…Sometimes words are way more painful than getting beat with a stick, bruises fade, thoughts and brain washing are a lot harder to fade. I find alot of people that lack confidence feel shame for everything and are afraid to share. We are all meant to share, inspire, connect in some way and feel. That’s part of what makes us who we are. Thanks for sharing. Very Nice. 🙂

  2. Yes!!! Take time to smell the beauty around you, let the influence of life love you, and be the beautiful gift that you naturally are.
    My blessing to you…

    • mincs1 says:

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my posts. Your energy transcends and can be felt through your words. I appreciate that. Namaste!

  3. Meghan says:

    Another powerful poem, Mary, and an important one! It’s important because you are deciding for yourself, you are celebrating you and you are daring to be brave & vulnerable! Ultimately we are all vulnerable though most of us don’t like to expose our sensitive skin. yet in our vulnerability lies our humanity; in showing our vulnerability we also show our courage! Wonderful!!

  4. mincs1 says:

    Thanks, Meghan:)

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