Today is a celebratory day
A day of taking steps
baby steps
toward a goal I have hung onto longer than I care to think about

I know what you are going to say
You do it all the time
It’s a pattern we have shared since the beginning

I get excited and filled with enthusiasm
You pull in the reins
And it has become such an ingrained habit between us
that sometimes I don’t even realize that is what is happening

Remember when I came home with a new hair cut?
As I was admiring the style and shine in the mirror
You popped in to give your opinion: “It looks pretty good but maybe you went a little too short. It kind of makes you look like you have pudgy cheeks.”

When I decided to try a new clothing style that was comfortable and free flowing, made me feel relaxed and easy going; you took one look and didn’t even hesitate to speak your mind. “It might be a good look for a hippie or yogi but that’s not you. Who are you trying to fool?”

Last time I took a risk
You didn’t even hide behind a veiled compliment.
You laughed out loud and gave me the raised eyebrow look
“Really?”

Today is going to be different
I’m on to you and your well meaning but sabotaging ways.
Already I hear you protesting loudly
“But what about this? Or did you think about that?”

I hear you and acknowledge you
But I am stronger, braver, willing to be vulnerable
I am willing to take my chances that I can handle both this and that!

Today your attempts to derail me
are only attempts
Today is not about you
It’s about me
I’m taking the step
I’m smiling as I do it; flushed cheeks, racing heart, queasy stomach and all.

Today is a celebratory day
It’s not about you
It’s about me!