Maybe we can all learn to rephrase the question, how are you doing? Or to at least, hear the question differently. What interesting things are happening with you? How are you holding up? How is your heart today?
Omid Safi offered the following advice:
“One of the things that breaks my heart, whether in the corporate world or in the academic world, is that I ask my friends, “How are you doing?” and all I get in answer is this head nod, “You know, I am so busy, so busy.” And I feel like, “You told me nothing.”
How do we remember that we are human beings, not human doings? When someone asks you, “How are you?” Don’t shout back your to-do list. I am not asking what do you need to get done today. If we have to rephrase it, what I am really asking is, “How is your heart today?”
Take that risk with the people who deserve it, who are worthy of it, make yourself vulnerable to them, actually tell them, actually share with them: “I am really struggling today. I am doing my very best, but I can really use a hug.” You might just find that it changes the dynamic of your connection with them.”
My reply to “How are doing” is normally “Fair to middlen”. Which is how we say “Okay ” in my area. It’s actually considered a polite reply. Not bragging or complaining about anything. My wife’s material grandfather had a unique sense of humor. He would often reply that he was as “fine as frog hair “. But I have noticed that more often lately people will dump their problems at the greeting.
I can imagine if I replied I was “fine as frog hair” people would question what I had for breakfast, LOL, but what a great saying 🙂
HA HA … I just read the sentence “Fine as a frogs hair”. It’s quite a funny line.
Your post is right on target with what is happening today. Our lives become busy, busy, busy. I think it has a great deal to do with social media. The desire to find out what someone is doing on FB because you feel void unless you do. Then, you feel deprived if they are doing something and you’re not.
I remember asking someone, “How are you doing?” Her answer, Not good, I haven’t had any sales.” This was at an art show I was doing. Whe I told her I just wanted to know how she was felling, she seemed shocked. Now, I just ask people if they’re having a nice day.
Ahhhh …. humans and all their frailties.
Have a super peaceful week …