November 8, 2014 by mincs1 Remember Red poppies stand guard row upon row sleeping men passively lay prone Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:Like Loading... Related
A nice little haiku although perhaps lacking the “Ah-ha” moment or a more unexpected “juxtaposition of two ideas or images with a “cutting word” between them that then “colours the manner in which the juxtaposed elements are related.” (good ol’ Wikipedia)
Having said that I shall try my hand right now for a Remembrance Day haiku:
Red poppies flow o’er
London’s Tower seas of red
the bloody dead
Thousands of poppies
Fragile as men before tanks
Weeping at the colour red
still winter’s flurries blow o’er
The Unknown Soldier
What do you think?
Thank-you for the feedback, Meghan. I love that you challenge me to be better and that you teach me as well!
I like your Remembrance Day haiku. It is (they are) poignant and respectful. I like the second one best if read alone; I really like how they all come together to honor the unknown soldier.
Thanks for your feedback, on my haiku, Mary. I was going to write just one and then I thought I would challenge myself to writing a series of haiku, rather like a linked haikai. Usually such poems are collaboratively written but I just wanted to try a series of haiku for myself. I like all three as stand alone haiku but I think you are right that the middle one is the more poignant. I’m glad that you don’t mind my little teaching comments. if you catch me in error please correct me! 🙂